As a gut health specialist, I have seen firsthand how deeply our physical health intertwines with our mental well-being. Having a condition that impacts digestion can often cause immense anxiety and vice versa.

Then there’s this little thing called diet culture. Expectations to eat and look a certain way can be all-consuming with internal and external pressures screaming at us to do things “perfectly.” But does perfect even exist? Spoiler… it doesn’t!

I frequently recommend that clients speak with a psychologist to build skills that help manage anxiety and practice self-compassion, which will inevitably support their gut health journey.

That’s why I am thrilled to sit down and speak with Renae Walsh, director and psychologist at Coast Psychology Clinic based in Broome, Western Australia. Renae has a professional interest in helping people overcome perfectionism and people-pleasing. In this article, we discuss the triggers of perfectionism and what to expect when you start seeing a therapist. Renae is warm, nurturing and extremely knowledgeable so I’m thrilled she took the time to answer our TDC community questions.

Without further ado, here’s Renae!

Let’s get a VERY important question out of the way… what’s your favourite food or meal?

Honestly, I love most foods and usually eat a very simple diet, but if I'm at a fancy restaurant you’ll often find me ordering some sort of creamy pasta dish or the steak!

What inspired you to take a professional interest in perfectionism and people-pleasing?

Mostly because it resonates deeply with me and my own journey with anxiety. As a ‘recovered’ people pleaser and perfectionist myself, I’m so familiar with these areas and how important it is to move away from them.

Additionally, perfectionism and pleasing people have been a common thread for clients throughout my practice, as it’s something that I've noticed that a lot of them have difficulty with. People don’t come in and say they have perfectionism or are a people pleaser, usually, these issues present as anxiety, stress, unsatisfying relationships, overwhelm, and burnout.

What can lead someone to developing perfectionistic tendencies?

Perfectionism usually starts from a mix of early experiences, personality, and societal pressures. For example, if someone grew up in an environment where love or approval depended on being ‘perfect’ or good, or always meeting high expectations, they might develop perfectionistic tendencies. Personality traits of a perfectionist are usually people who are quite driven, ambitious, and more ‘type A’ which all lend to the idea of aiming high and achieving great things. The Western society in which we live largely celebrates an individual’s appearance, success, and achievements. This leads to pressure to always meet those standards and can lead to perfectionism, as people try to control their lives to fit these ideals, often at the expense of their mental health.

I often discuss with clients how “no one eats perfectly, not even a dietitian!” Why do you believe so many of us direct our perfectionism towards diet and exercise?

I believe a lot of people end up directing their perfectionism toward diet and exercise because those areas are really visible and often tied to how we feel about ourselves! Society tends to put a lot of pressure on having a "perfect" body or following the "perfect" fitness routine. When someone’s already prone to perfectionism, it’s easy to latch onto these things as a way to feel in control or get external validation. Plus, there’s often this all-or-nothing mindset, either you stick to the diet or workout routine perfectly, or you feel like you’ve failed, which can create a cycle of pressure and guilt.

When it comes to goal setting, how can we strive to achieve our goals, while leaving perfectionism at the door?

Embrace progress over perfection! Focus instead on the journey getting to the desired outcome. You can do this by focusing on small, manageable steps that move you forward. It's so important to set flexible goals that allow room for mistakes and adjustments. Acknowledge that setbacks are a natural part of growth and don’t mean failure. By celebrating incremental achievements and keeping the bigger picture in mind, you can build momentum without getting stuck in the trap of perfectionism. It’s all about being kind to yourself and staying focused on the process, not just the end result. If the process to get there doesn't feel good, I’d really question what the point is in having this as a goal?!

Members of our TDC community will relate to experiencing their worst gut symptoms when they’re in a heightened state or feeling anxious. What are some of your favourite ways to self-soothe?

Gosh, I’ve been there! When anxiety kicks in and triggers gut issues, it’s important to find calming techniques that bring the body back to a state of regulation. Deep breathing exercises, like diaphragmatic breathing, are a great way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and calm both the mind and the gut. Gentle movements, such as stretching or walking can also help release tension. It could be useful to create a calming daily routine that works for you and reminds your body it’s safe.

The idea of starting therapy can be daunting for some. What can people expect when they begin seeing a psychologist?

Starting therapy can feel intimidating for sure, but honestly, it’s a really safe space. It's a space where you can explore your thoughts, feelings, and challenges without judgment (there’s no judgment - we’ve heard so many different stories, we just love that you are seeking help!). Therapists are also so aware of how scary those first few sessions are and work hard to make you feel comfortable.

The first few sessions typically involve getting to know each other and discussing what brought you to therapy. Your psychologist will listen closely, ask questions, and help you set goals for what you want to work on.

Therapy isn’t about giving you all the answers, it’s about empowering you to understand yourself better and develop tools to cope. It’s best to think of it as a collaborative process, and while it might feel vulnerable at first, many people find it incredibly rewarding as they gain new insights and start making positive changes.